I received an email from a reader and blog I follow that you might really enjoy – one that made me smile like a proud momma sending her baby off to school for the first time.
It is from a wonderfully witty blogger named John at The Daily Graff. John posts his own photos that he captions with the most off the wall puns on his wildly funny photo blog. Each Monday through Friday, side-splitting posts have inanimate objects in hilarious conversation and situation. John is also a gardener, so plants find their way into his entertaining posts often. So without further ado, here’s John!
The purpose of this e-mail is to tell you that you can add to your accomplishments the title of “Palm Rescuer.”
The first attached photo is from a post (titled The Dated Palm) where I alluded in the caption to the fact that I was going to let “Jack Frost” take the palm. This WAS the intent, because the palm had gotten too ungainly for our master bathroom, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to put it. I couldn’t bring myself to just unceremoniously toss it out, so I soothed my conscience by saying that I would let Mother Nature do the deed for me.
Then you had to go and disturb my every waking moment with your comment, “Say it isn’t so.”
As the weather got colder I thought about taking the palm to work to give it away, but I never got around to it. After the plant survived a couple of MONTHS without water*, a few frosts, and one or two freezes on our screened-in-porch, your protest became like an ever-louder mantra: “SAY IT ISN’T SO!” I finally knew I would never have a peaceful night’s sleep ever again with green blood on my hands, so I brought the palm in and found a spot for it in our dining room.
You will be happy to know that it continues to make me feel bad by BLOOMING (see 2nd picture) after all my palmicidal thoughts. It’s as if it’s saying, “I’m sure DONNA knew I had it in me!”
It really DOES look kind of nice in the dining room, so I guess I’ll end by saying that I thank you, and I KNOW that the once “dated” palm thanks you.
It had just BETTER not spite me by producing coconuts.
*All that time MOTHER NATURE was rain-watering the palm. I suspect you called her.
I am certainly no palm savior as I myself have sent a few packing. They went to new homes during a plant sale and never faced the wrath of Mother Nature pointing that wintery finger their way. The problem with palms is they grow too big, too fast, not to mention prolifically making baby palms left and right.
But what John is seeing as blooming in his dining room is going to make a big mess when the palm drops its seed everywhere. The seeding is a result to stress the poor thing endured, which subsequently sent it into seed making mode. When finished with seed production, they shoot the seed a flying. Everywhere!
I always cut the side shoots off to avoid the mess. It only takes once to learn. Those little buggers are a bear to clean up. They roll and find every crack in the hardwood floors too. Crafty and resourceful, I must say.
So let us gardeners help John out by coming up with a caption for the devious little palm in the photo below. After all it sent John into an extended guilt trip by pathetically shivering out on the porch. So what caption can we come up with for the photo of it thumbing its fronds at John? Give it try, won’t you? Also visit his rib-tickling blog. You may enjoy his wit.
Green Apples has a new post, Egret Rookery. If you have not seen a rookery before, check this out. For some dumb reason WP did not pick up the post and it has hampered traffic. I did not want to repost it because I was unsure if it would be resent to the subscribers. I didn’t want to hound them with emails. So have a look!