Palm Rescuer – “The Mother Nature Accomplice Award”

Towering_Palms

An image to give John’s palm some needed hope. A little inspiration and joy. His original post (when the palm was still in his good graces) was called Steamed. I guess the palm had grander aspirations after all.

I received an email from a reader and blog I follow that you might really enjoy – one that made me smile like a proud momma sending her baby off to school for the first time.

It is from a wonderfully witty blogger named John at The Daily Graff. John posts his own photos that he captions with the most off the wall puns on his wildly funny photo blog. Each Monday through Friday, side-splitting posts have inanimate objects in hilarious conversation and situation. John is also a gardener, so plants find their way into his entertaining posts often. So without further ado, here’s John!

Hi Donna!

The purpose of this e-mail is to tell you that you can add to your accomplishments the title of “Palm Rescuer.”

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The first attached photo is from a post (titled The Dated Palm) where I alluded in the caption to the fact that I was going to let “Jack Frost” take the palm.  This WAS the intent, because the palm had gotten too ungainly for our master bathroom, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to put it.  I couldn’t bring myself to just unceremoniously toss it out, so I soothed my conscience by saying that I would let Mother Nature do the deed for me.

Then you had to go and disturb my every waking moment with your comment, “Say it isn’t so.”

As the weather got colder I thought about taking the palm to work to give it away, but I never got around to it.  After the plant survived a couple of MONTHS without water*, a few frosts, and one or two freezes on our screened-in-porch, your protest became like an ever-louder mantra: “SAY IT ISN’T SO!”  I finally knew I would never have a peaceful night’s sleep ever again with green blood on my hands, so I brought the palm in and found a spot for it in our dining room.

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You will be happy to know that it continues to make me feel bad by BLOOMING (see 2nd picture) after all my palmicidal thoughts.  It’s as if it’s saying, “I’m sure DONNA knew I had it in me!”

It really DOES look kind of nice in the dining room, so I guess I’ll end by saying that I thank you, and I KNOW that the once “dated” palm thanks you.

It had just BETTER not spite me by producing coconuts.

–John

*All that time MOTHER NATURE was rain-watering the palm.  I suspect you called her.

Palm

I am certainly no palm savior as I myself have sent a few packing. They went to new homes during a plant sale and never faced the wrath of Mother Nature pointing that wintery finger their way. The problem with palms is they grow too big, too fast, not to mention prolifically making baby palms left and right.

Palm-2

But what John is seeing as blooming in his dining room is going to make a big mess when the palm drops its seed everywhere. The seeding is a result to stress the poor thing endured, which subsequently sent it into seed making mode. When finished with seed production, they shoot the seed a flying. Everywhere!

I always cut the side shoots off to avoid the mess. It only takes once to learn. Those little buggers are a bear to clean up. They roll and find every crack in the hardwood floors too. Crafty and resourceful, I must say.

So let us gardeners help John out by coming up with a caption for the devious little palm in the photo below. After all it sent John into an extended guilt trip by pathetically shivering out on the porch. So what caption can we come up with for the photo of it thumbing its fronds at John? Give it try, won’t you? Also visit his rib-tickling blog. You may enjoy his wit.

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Green Apples has a new post, Egret Rookery. If you have not seen a rookery before, check this out. For some dumb reason WP did not pick up the post and it has hampered traffic.  I did not want to repost it because I was unsure if it would be resent to the subscribers. I didn’t want to hound them with emails. So have a look!

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About Garden Walk Garden Talk

I love to photograph, paint, draw, design, garden, travel the world, and pass on a few tips and ideas that I learned through experience as a Master Gardener and architect. I am highly trained in my field and enjoy my work each and every day. I garden in Niagara Falls, NY in zone 6-B. Find me at: http://gardenwalkgardentalk.com
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35 Responses to Palm Rescuer – “The Mother Nature Accomplice Award”

  1. Thanks, Donna, for featuring my posts and blog! I hope your readers take you up on your challenge to come up with their own caption, because I’d love to see their efforts and will read every one!
    –John

  2. I hope so too. Already there have been 63 views on this post, I hope they went back to the drawing board to think up a doozy.

  3. Layanee says:

    Another one doesn’t bite the dust thanks to you. I don’t know about a name ‘Palmzilla’ perhaps. I do hope he cuts off those flowers after your advice.

  4. I always knew you were a tree hugger. Myself, I have the same dilemma as John and often leave houseplants out in the fall “by mistake”.

    • I did send a confederate jasmine off to the perils of winter. I am not expecting to see it again next Spring! They just grow far too big for indoors. Three years and it became a monster plant. I know I should have taken a cutting, but some plants should stay south.

  5. Kind of reminds me of the kite-eating tree in Charlie Brown. How about, “Heh, heh, heh.”

  6. I’m no good at captions. I’ve never seen such a little plant flower.Luckily, we don’t have one. I know we’d want to plant the seeds – then the problem would be multiplied by a million.

  7. Christy says:

    How about “I’m beautiful, tall and thin…that’s why I have so many dates”.

  8. igardendaily says:

    Great post and story and Ill check out John’s blog. For a caption maybe “Don’t you know, it’s all about the survival of the fittest and I’m here to win, baby!”

  9. I like this too! That palm may be John’s nemesis one day.

  10. This is an awesome and oh so funny post. You are truly inspirational, and the palm can thank you for its life. 🙂

  11. Cute post. That Palm tree is stubborn! You have to appreciate a plant the survives despite neglect. I got a kick out of how John felt guilty and couldn’t sleep over this. Plants are people, too. 😉

  12. Helene says:

    What a great post, sometimes nature wins over common sense! I have a relationship with all my plants, especially those I have had for many years, I couldn’t just chuck one if it got too big. If it can’t be cut down in size I would hope that someone else would take it 🙂

    • I too can’t send one to the compost. It just seems wrong doing that to a living thing. At least John was pushing the responsibility elsewhere, but Mother Nature had other plans. And he thought it was ME!

  13. Andrea says:

    hahaha, John is really so good with his posts, and funny too i will be there in his site at once! The Palm said to John: This man is not fit to garden, he hasn’t heard of Darwin’s ‘survival of the fittest’. Let’s see what he does next!

    And i love Helene’s comment too, i am just like her. It is good there are my sisters and my mother who knows what to do, when i don’t do anything, that needs done!

  14. I am a bit brain dead today to do captions but I actually have not been too good with palms…i have killed all I tried to grow in years past….he does have a wonderful blog.

    • Palms are so easy to grow because they can be placed in shade and require little water. I am surprised you have not had luck with them. Thanks for checking out John’s blog. Do you know he has authored a book? He is a wonderful writer.

  15. COMMENTERS–I have thoroughly enjoyed the funny captions and frondly discussion centered around my endangered palm. For those of you worried that it might still wear out its welcome with seed projectiles, I took Donna’s advice and cut the seed pods off yesterday. So for now it’s safe unless I hear it badmouthing me to the other houseplants.

    I did one day end up with green blood on my hands with NO guilt. I had a Dwarf Umbrella Tree (Schefflera) in my office for several years that was about bushel-basket size. At one point it developed a scale-insect infestation, and I treated it unsuccessfully for WEEKS trying to get rid of the critters. About every day a few sticky leaves dropped to the floor. One day the janitor came in before quitting time to empty my trash. I saw him bend down and scoop up a handful of leaves off the floor.

    When I realized that I had been subjecting him to this extra duty every day, I decided it was time to “fold up” that Umbrella Tree. I picked up the heavy pot to take the plant to the outside dumpster on a freezing, snowy day (i.e., certain death for both the plant AND the critters). As I was going down the hall I mentioned to a coworker what I was about to do. She shouted “Wait!” and ran to her office. She emerged with a sickly plant that she hadn’t had the heart to dispatch, and, seeing that I was capable of houseplanticide, BEGGED me to take her plant out too.

    –John

    P.S. If you haven’t already, click on the “Steamed” link in the caption under Donna’s very first picture above to see the palm in its prime when it had a place of honor.

    • So glad you too my advice John and cut off the seeds. That’s telling the palm to be a considerate house guest and I bet it now is not saying one bad word about you knowing you carry sharp shears.

      I know how the janitor felt too. My Norfolk Island Pine does the same thing after coming in from outside. It does not have scale or mites, but the stress of change makes it shed the end shoots. They drop and are sticky – and like your palm, it grew and grew. It is now as tall as my nine foot ceiling in the dining room. It may be getting a beheading soon.

  16. I have a similar palm, banished to the lower level of the house, watered infrequently and neglected. Mine is also blooming. Stressed? Think it is just chillin’. Could have killed it with kindness. Will go and cut back the blooms before the seeds explode everywhere.

  17. renegade4god says:

    It may be fair to say that John the Palmist suffered some Proverbial Lamentations.

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